five years from now...

it feels as if it was yesterday when i was seventeen..it feels as if if was hours ago when i was 23.time has flown by..two years ago i used to think about my life two years on.those two years have come and gone..now i think about life five years on...and i dont want those 5 years coming and going..for me i feel the decline has begun...this sounds depressing and it probably is but the realisation that the childish innocence of yesteryears is a thing of the past is weird. in the past each birthday would bring excitement.now it only brings dread.instead of a year gained it feels like a year lost...swoosh gone by in a flash.the small body pains here and there.the constant battle with weight(this is seriously pissing me off btw..hehe) the emotional emptiness all combine to leave me bewildred. the fact that 25 to 40 is supposed to be a guys prime is even more distressing. cos now this is it.now you have to make every moment count.its not as if im having difficulty letting go of my immature and carefree stage.to be honest i dont really think i had such a stage.being the eldest child nd all.its just that the last few years have left alot to be desired for.it was always oh ive got two years.but those two years came and went so fast that none of what i had envisaged came to pass.i cant blame time..im blaming myself for wasting it. now im setting new targets and goals.where and what will i be 5 years from now.ive only got one side (business/work)of the answer figured out.the other side (emotional) i dont. as a result ive been contemplating forgetting about the stuff thats not happening and focus wholeheartedly (not that its an either/or situation) on my business and professional life and that unfortunatly is depressing..
Englands in the quarters.they face Portugal which will be extremely weakened cos of the drama yesterday..cant wait for the match!!!